16 Things I Learned From Watching The "Scream" Movies

Courtesy Everett Collection / © Dimension Films/Everett Collection / Everett Collection

Brownie Harris / © Paramount Pictures / Courtesy Everett Collection

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I like a little isolation as much as the next person, but as soon as I saw what looked like a cornfield separating the Beckers' house from their neighbors I was like, "Why are you home alone??" 

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The possibility that a murderer is calling you aside, why would anyone want to talk on the phone ever?

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Whenever I watch that first attack on Sidney in the original Scream, I find myself shaking my head when she fastens the chain lock. I know, I know — two locks seem better than one, but that flimsy little thing didn't look like it actually would've slowed down Ghostface that much more than the doorknob lock on its own. Meanwhile, it kept her from making a speedy escape out the front door, forcing her to the last place she wants to go: up the stairs.

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The idea of strength in numbers has been dispelled in horror movie after horror movie, and Scream is no exception. I like to think if her dad had been home (and not stuffed in Stu's closet), Sidney would've just skipped the party, but who knows? Teens in horror movies make very bad choices.

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I love Tatum and was bummed when she bit it, but if someone's going around murdering (and attempting to murder) people, you couldn't pay me to go play beer wench all by my lonesome. 

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Am I a gun person? Absolutely not. Have I done extensive research into how to make sure the safety is off on a gun in the hopefully slim chance I'll ever need to defend myself against a murderer? Yes.

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Honestly, Ghostface probably would've gotten Phil Stevens in Scream 2 one way or another, but Phil made it too easy for him by deciding to snoop on whatever he thought was happening in the stall next to his.

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Especially if they're going around trying to plant the seeds of doubt in your mind. Looking at you, Mickey! Short of planting a bloody knife in Derek's backpack, he did everything he could to make Sid think history might be repeating itself in Scream 2.

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When Sidney and Hallie are escaping the crashed police car in Scream 2, there's a moment where Sidney goes to take Ghostface's mask off. She hits the horn and scares the hell out of herself and Hallie, and proceeds to climb on out. It's not until she and Hallie are both safely out of the car and halfway down the street that Sidney decides to turn back to unmask the killer. Of course, by then he's gone, hiding feet away from Hallie, who he then kills.

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Not only could Sidney have easily taken off Ghostface's mask once she and Hallie were both out of the car, but she could've gone the whole nine yards and just killed him right then and there. There was plenty of debris lying around — grab something sharp and go for it!

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As Gale put it in Scream 3, the killer wanted her, Dewey, and the cast of Stab 3 inside, so pretended to be outside. 

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One of the best moments in Scream 3 is when Sidney, having already surrendered her gun after using a metal detector on herself, pulls out a second gun, and says, "It's your turn to scream, asshole," and shoots Ghostface a dozen or so times. It's also a great reminder that one weapon is easy to lose, so you should always have a backup.

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Even though Ghostface's weapon of choice is a knife, the killers in the Scream movies always seem to end up with a gun. On top of mirroring Roman's big "look at my bulletproof vest" reveal in Scream 3, Sidney's decision to grab one of the vests from the police station is just common sense.

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I get that Sidney's return to Woodsboro in Scream 4 is, as Kirby puts it, "the first stop on her road to a new life," but I'm not sure anything could get me to go back to the town where my ex-boyfriend butchered my mom and friends, especially on the anniversary. Personal growth be damned.

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You. Will. Not. Be. Back!

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They always come back for one last scare, and if this is your third go-around, remember: "Stabbing him won’t work; shooting him won’t work. Basically in the third one, you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up."